Sunday, July 31, 2005

Breaking: Murdoch Names Al Frankel New Fox News CEO

xxxxxxxxxxxx getting nothing but static from msm reports xxxxxxxxxx sunday 10:10PM CST July 31, 2005

A newsflash that Drudge only dreams about has just come in on the Murdoch empire shake-up and we are prepared to break it:

Getting Nothing But Static From MSM is reporting via very reliable anonymous sources (not Judith Miller) that Al Frankel is taking over for Murdoch son Lachlan Murdoch, as the new Chairman & Chief Executive of Fox News. Frankel will have full authority to direct and move the Fox News division as he sees fit. "Full and complete authority" is how Rupert Murdoch put it.

The news of Frankel taking over the Fox news division has turned the organization on it's head. Early reports show that Brit Hume, Sean Hannity, and John Gibson have already resigned. Allen Colmes, Greta Van Susteren and Geraldo Rivera are all reported to be excited about the possibilities and looking to see what the Frankel addition will bring to the network as it begins it's natural and next step evolution to the left. Bill O"Reilly is said to be taking a moderate position on the move, stating some good things will come out of this and some not so good things will come about from it. "It's a 50-50 deal" per O'Reilly. He is reported to have only required that Frankel come on once a week on the peak viewer day to debate O"Reilly over the ultra-hated liberal position of the day, for him to stay.

Frankel's first comments on the move were given to Getting Nothing But Static just moments ago. Per Frankel: "Since the worst of the neo-cons have already resigned, I will be focused more on replacing them than firing the sorry ass bastards". He then gave a hint on who may replace them, "There is a lots of juicy socialist talent out there in the journalistic world. We all know that 80% of all journalists are left leaning so that won't be an issue. Hellen Thomas for one comes to mind. She is the type of political hack we can use to reform this fair & balanced business. I also understand that Jason Blair is available so that is a possibility also, perhaps as our Ombudsmen". Frakel also hinted at some possible program changes, "Being a socialist I obviously believe that capitalism is the root of all American problems and is the diabolical enemy of socialism. Therefore we will concentrate a lot less on the stock market and business reporting". When asked where Fox would head in general under his direction Frankel stated, "It is my responsibility to turn the only news network in America that has a fair and balanced platform and make sure that it reports only from an ulta-liberal agenda. The socialist left can rest assured that we will turn Fox into a NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, like political clone, I guarantee it. Our goal is to kill free expression that is not of a socialist left base for the good of America".

Sounds like Neil Cavuto had better hit the old networking list to line up another gig, unless of course he has a general to good understanding of socialist economics.

(this post is of course a parity-satire piece and is not in any way true. Just incase you did not know or were wondering and if that's the case then I would be concerned about your state.....................)